well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Still dying that you shit outside
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
