My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
