Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
