My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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