the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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