she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
