Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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