She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
