hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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