Me too!
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
