I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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