So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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