She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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