google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
