OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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