I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
