I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
