Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
