I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
