I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
he thought i was a dude.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
