My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
even my farts smell like vagina
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
