Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
