I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
