Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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