Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
