Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
