Its about making memories worth repressing
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
