Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize