That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
