Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
