Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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