I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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