Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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