How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
