butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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