Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
