you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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