you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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