there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize