wanna go halves on a baby?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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