Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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