im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
