I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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