I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
