she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
