I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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