I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
