Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize