remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
you never un-have a 4some
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
