I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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