I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
