found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
