Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
