I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
