Cold hands, warm shart.
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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