there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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