This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
