i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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