My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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