Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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