I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
